how can u be prego again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
