We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
