i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Damn victory sex feels great
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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