So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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