This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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