The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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