sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
