this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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