thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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