My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize