But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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