Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Operation Purity has been aborted
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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