I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
