Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She told me I should be a condom model.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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