Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
