is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Randomize
