Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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