8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
