I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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