This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
