I want to stick my p in your. b.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
