so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Buhtt sex?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
