she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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