some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
