speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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