Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
