thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
