My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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