My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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