yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
