I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
