We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
