Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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