We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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