We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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