ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
