At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
