i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
