Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
