it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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