so explain again why im purple
no
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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