it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
