I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
