When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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