You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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