So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
