I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
