Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
