i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
