Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize