I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
