A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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