I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There's always time for handjobs
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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