I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
