I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
