Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
