I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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