you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
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She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
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He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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