he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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