I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dick very happy bro
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
