No period for spring break; use this wisely.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
