some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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