Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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