Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
