i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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